Loneliness is not a personal failing. 孤独是一种情感信号，它告诉你去找个人谈谈.
Dartmouth 健康 Psychologist 安德鲁J. 史密斯博士You may feel lonely, but you are not alone.
根据… health advisory 由U发布.S. 卫生局局长Vivek Murthy去年五月表示，现在每两个成年人中就有一个是孤独的.
“我们彼此之间的联系是我们建立健康社会的基础. As that foundation has crumbled and weakened, we’ve seen that we’re suffering across the board,” noted Surgeon General Vivek Murthy when speaking at a Dartmouth College symposium in Hanover, New Hampshire, last fall.
"If you are among those suffering, 你孤独的解药可能比你想象的更近、更容易获得,” says Dartmouth 健康 psychologist 安德鲁J. 史密斯博士.
你可能需要走出你的舒适区来解决这个问题.
“毫无疑问, loneliness can have far-reaching effects on a person’s life,史密斯说。, who recently co-authored 一项研究 on how social connectedness can help improve health. “But loneliness is not a personal failing. 孤独是一种情感信号，它告诉你去找个人谈谈, engage in your community, and serve others—even if you think it will be hard.”
Loneliness can impact your health
如果你正遭受孤独之苦，那就有充分的理由采取行动. 无论如何，孤独都会对你的健康产生重大的负面影响.
研究 表明长期的孤独和社会隔离对我们健康的影响是明显的, leading to increased risk for cardiovascular disease, immune dysfunction, 失眠, 中风, 痴呆, 抑郁症, 焦虑, 甚至 早些时候死亡.
Loneliness can not only impact your emotional wellbeing, 它会让你对自己和对有意义生活的预期前景感觉更糟.
“这可能与通过社交媒体或其他方式将自己与他人看似理想的生活进行比较有关. But when we are feeling lonely, 我们可能会被与他人互动的前景所吓倒，或者担心这些互动不会达到预期，这可能会让我们更不愿意出去参与这些关系,史密斯说。.
Being alone does not have to mean being lonely
That said, being alone—working remotely, commuting solo, or even living by ourselves—does not have to translate into being lonely.
Nor does it always necessitate intervention. “It’s healthy and necessary to spend some time alone, 充电, to develop and maintain a sense of who we are,史密斯说。.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines loneliness 因为“感到或感觉到自己是孤独的不舒服或不安”.”
“当我们开始感到孤独正在影响我们在世界上运作的能力，或者我们因孤立状态或孤独感而受苦时, 齐心协力地伸出援手，建立联系，是迈向治愈的重要第一步,史密斯说。. “通常，当我们与他人交流时，抑郁或其他心理健康症状会得到改善.”
What you can do
On a policy level, much is being done to redress loneliness. At the fall Dartmouth symposium, participating surgeon generals 讨论了一系列广泛的解决方案，包括鼓励更多的医生进入初级保健领域，更好地培训初级保健医生，以识别和解决可能与孤独和孤立感共存的轻微行为健康问题.
此外，心理健康检查现在是临床医生的普遍做法. Accessibility to 面对面 and virtual mental health treatment from therapists, 心理学家, 精神科医生, and counselors has grown substantially over recent years.
“对于任何精神健康状况，健康从业者的干预都可能带来变革,史密斯说。. “但我们大多数保持健康的机会都来自我们的自然社交网络—在我们的朋友、家人、同事、重要的人以及我们的社区中. 这就是意义和治愈的可接近和有影响力的来源所在. Those relationships can help us heal from injury, adjust to serious illness, stick to medical treatments, or achieve better mental health outcomes during treatment. 人际关系也可以帮助我们体验到更多的意义和目的.”
从哪里开始
While treatment is never a one-size-fits-all solution, 如果你觉得自己正遭受孤独的折磨，首先要问自己一些问题:
● Are you having trouble in your relationship with loved ones?
● Do you feel disconnected from the wider world?
● Are you avoiding friends?
● Do you feel ‘less than’ others?
● Are you afraid of feeling judged or rejected?
● Are you avoiding social situations?
If you answer in the affirmative to any of these questions, 你会从积极主动地建立或加强人际关系中受益. As 你知道，重要的是要记住孤独是普遍存在的.
“Loneliness is not a mark of special social incompetence, 无价值, or some kind of pathetic-ness. 甚至你的医生、牧师、伴侣和朋友有时也会感到孤独. 孤独的真正含义是，你和你生命中的人可以从你找到一个可以服务的人中受益, 跟, say a kind word to, or share space with. The more active you are the better,史密斯说。.
Where to go next
You can start by going to those you know and trust.
“尽管冒着脆弱的风险去联系你关系网中你信任的人, and tell them that you feel lonely or depressed. My bet is that the response will be positive. 很快你就会从自己的头脑中走出来，进入他人的生活和支持中，感觉不那么孤独了,史密斯说。.
If your loneliness emanates from more specific concerns, do not be afraid to address those directly and specifically. If, 例如, 你觉得你和你的伴侣没有给对方足够的爱，这是疏远, 承担起自己的责任，齐心协力地表达你对他们的感激和爱.
与 community organizations—无论是非盈利的支持项目，艺术组织，还是公共社会服务机构—also can help you feel more connected. 找一个与你的兴趣一致的，你可以发挥你的优势和知识的工作. 研究 表明帮助他人有助于我们自己的幸福感和应对能力.
支持团体也可以帮助解决可能导致你孤独的挑战. These challenges may include coping with grief, dealing with mental health conditions, or recovering from physical illness. Many of these support groups are free and available online.
当你努力投入的时候，不要对自己太苛刻. 发现自己消极地预测或评价自己，并将自己与他人比较. Remember you are worthy. Practice self-care and allow others to care for you.
Concludes Smith: “At the end of the day, overcoming loneliness is all about feeling connected, being willing to let others serve and love you, 接触, 认识到你可以为世界和周围的人做出有价值的贡献.”
记住，如果你觉得需要立即帮助，请拨打热线电话. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is 988 or 1.800.273.8255.
Additional Resources
● Foundation for Social 连接ion -促进循证研究和干预的非营利慈善组织
● Coalition to End Social Isolation and Loneliness (CESIL) -一个倡导组织，支持旨在减少孤独感和相关的负面健康影响的政策变化
● Project UnLonely 这项由艺术与治疗基金会发起的全国性倡议提高了人们对孤独负面影响的认识，并使人们能够通过艺术相互联系
● Aging Resource Center - A useful Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center resource that 为老年人、家庭和社区成员提供信息、教育和支持